"I have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. The earliest panic attack I recall happened in high school around the year 2000. However, I wasn’t properly diagnosed with Social Anxiety until 2006.
On a date in high school I had what I now know was an anxiety attack that caused me to throw up in my date’s car on the way home. My date and all his friends called me “Bulimic” for the rest of the year.
I started to worry about being judged way before going to any event where eating was required. So I was walking into these situations already in a heightened state of anxiety and if something didn’t distract my thoughts, if I focused on it too much, I would end up hurling somewhere, which would only confirm people’s suspicions of me having an eating disorder. I know I do not suffer from bulimia or anorexia. I would love to gain weight and have tried to for years. I now know that my problem is anxiety that is triggered from the fear of being judged, and it is most prevalent around food because that is where I have been judged the most in my life.
I have other fears that give me lots of anxiety such as driving, going far from home like on a vacation, or some social situations. I don’t blame my anxiety on any of the people that I have mentioned. I fully understand that it is my responsibility to determine my attitude about these situations that I have been placed in. I only use it as a guide to understand how I got to where I am today."
-Aimee
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